“Meet Local LA Rocker Chicks That Want No Strings Attached Banging”
That’s the full page ad you’ll see in this month’s Rock City paper. Could it be for real?
Quick answer: No.
But sit down for a second. Can I get you anything? Water? High-Life? Ok.
Yes, meeting the right girl is hard, and yes you have high standards, but you can’t be settling for anything less than what you want right? You need someone that will get you. You need a girl that never saw white leather go out of style, that can name the bass player in White Lion, and that can do a pummel horse routine on the hood of your Trans Am. I get it, it shouldn’t be so difficult. Problem is, weekend after weekend it’s the same girls with the same leather skirts at the Rainbow and you’ve already slept with each of them 7 times. You are YEARNING for a restocking of the LA rock pool, but you’ve been waiting it out for 26 years and it’s not happening. You’re even at the point now where you’re thinking of cutting off those luscious locks because the sweet hair-metal poonani you’re getting on the weekends no longer shadows the odd looks the other guys in the warehouse give you.
I hear you.
Listen though, this isn’t what you’re looking for. I really wish it was, because I’m pulling for you here.. all of us former Poison poster hanging guys with the blogs and the office jobs respect you for sticking with it. Our hair was curly, and it was tough to grow out, it wasn’t meant to be. But you stuck with it, and it’s my duty to let you know that this website is trying to scam you.
As soon as you type in LARockersDating.com it takes you to SexSearch.com. A generic casual encounters hookup website. That’s right, as soon as you hit ‘Enter’ your rocker girl dreams disappear.
If you feel the need to trudge on, you’ll be presented with a series of questions about yourself. Some questions you might not expect..
No Zodiac questions here folks.
If you do somehow make it through that torturous series of questions, you’ll be presented with this screen:
That’s right, even free love isn’t free anymore, you’ll have to fork over at least $19.95 a month to sign up for this site.
Internet scams are everywhere, but why would they target our beloved LA rockers? Isn’t life hard enough already? Isn’t split ends and a banana hammock full of crabs more than one person should have to deal with in a lifetime? And why would Rock City help steer us wrong? It’s not fair, and it’s not nice.
See you guys at happy hour.
