Let me say it like this:
Let’s say you’re going out on a first date with a new girl, a girl maybe you’ve seen in a few movies and an awful cable television sci-fi adaptation of the Wizard of Oz, I don’t know, but sure let’s say that. Ok, then let’s say she’s all “Hey meet me at 6:30pm at the Vista theater, the show starts at 7:30pm and you’ll want to get a good seat.” And you’re all “Yes of course I’ll be there at 6:30pm.”
Now being a man, you realize that you need to leave your apartment at 6:30pm to make it to this date on time, I mean hell, the show doesn’t start til 7:30, might as well wait for traffic to die down a little before attempting to drive across the city. And that’s great.., it is, because when you finally get there at 7:25pm, you see that the doors are not in fact open yet, and there is a line of haircuts down the road.
Ok, now remembering you’re still a guy, let’s say you blow off the line in favor of hitting the Good Luck bar, where you meet a local-celebrity-to-be, Richard the Monday and Tuesday night bartender, the 2nd best bartender you’ve met in the LA area, second only to Pat at Sonny McLeans in Santa Monica. You spend a few (4) rounds here, sampling mystical drinks from the Orient, and then you finally look out the door for a 3rd time at 8:45pm and notice that the line has died down, and now you can enter without waiting with the haircuts.
Let’s say this now, in keeping with the date theme, the girl that you wanted to go on a date with, the girl that maybe first revealed her voice to you in the movie Elf, does not take the stage after the applause, but a whole other dude shows up! (in this comparison to a date the opening band, Lavender Diamond, is playing the role of the unexpected dude that showed up.) While the ticket does in fact say 6:30pm doors, 7:30pm show, you are here at 9:00pm and hanging with a dude that you were not aware would be there. This dude is terrible, until like 2 minutes into their first 4 minute song, then you are like, yeah this dude is good. (Lavender Diamond, but the dude thing is working for me) So you hang with this dude and by the time he leaves you are fully thinking to yourself, I would not be here if this were not that girl from The Good Girl.
And then she comes on, with her friend, some dude that plays the guitar and goes by one initial and a last name, and is somehow more credible than John Mayer though he looks pretty similar. You listen to 4 songs and you say to yourself, I would not be here if this were not the girl that played Trillian in The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. And you leave, because while this would have been cool at 7:30, like the ticket said, this is not something you should be doing at 10:00pm on a Monday night.
ed note: I went and thought it was great, thanks Zooey for an awesome time! See you soon?
