By Greg Oguss
After getting off scot-free for outing former CIA agent Valerie Plame in his syndicated column as payback for her husband Joe Wilson’s criticism of the Bush-Cheney war policy, right-wing columnist Robert Novak’s hardball tactics have finally crossed from a legal “gray area” into outright illegality, warranting criminal punishment. Novak’s right-wing views are no secret to anyone who reads his columns or has been lucky enough to catch his drooling visage on CNN or those Sunday morning talk-shows which I am invariably too hung-over to tune into (although I heard one of the biggies just lost their host due to a dreadful illness like AIDS or a deadly hunting accident or something). This Wednesday morning on the streets of Washington D.C., Novak became fed up enough with all the nonsense over so-called global warming and the need to cut back on fuel consumption that he decided to teach one of those limp-wristed tree-huggers a lesson. He spotted some eco-friendly idiot biking to work and he decided to send a message. He ran the liberal dufus over with his gas-guzzling American-m ade Hummer. Well, I don’t know for a fact that it was a Hummer. But I do know he got off with a mere $50 fine. I can only assume that Novak also received a standing ovation in the courtroom from every red-blooded American who agreed with his courageous act.
