My friend Meredith from Boston was kinda enough to walk me through the new Weezer record over AIM.  If you’d like to follow along you can pick up a copy here.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: 1st song, pretty good. i dig it.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: 2nd song, don’t like intro, it’s annoying. just heard a bad lyric.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: something about underwear.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: this may be a rap song. oh good god

[15:58] MeredithFromBoston: ok, falsetto, not liking this song.

[15:58] MeredithFromBoston: i may have to forward this one.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: ok, super falsetto at the end, like the super falsetto

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: but i don’t agree with any song that has “underwear” in the lyrics.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: unless it’s by Ratt

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: or something like Ratt.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: ok, song 3 is the single.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: he name checks Timbaland who i love so i think it’s funny

[16:00] LA Snark: you love Timbaland?

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: yup. love that overproduced shit.

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: giant overproduced hook filled pop crap

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: love it

[16:00] LA Snark: i like the overproduced songs on Britney’s latest album. like Radar

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: love that fucking record

[16:00] LA Snark: yeah

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: break the ice

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: sweet.

[16:00] LA Snark: haha

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: ok i have moved onto the next song

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: a mellow jam, seems

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: he just name checked “eddie rabbit”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: he said “hungry heart”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh fuck.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh wait, it’s a song about his “heart songs”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: his favorite songs.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: GAY

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh for fuck’s sake this dude might need to hang it up

[16:02] LA Snark: hahahaha

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: he just said “he taught me how to shred”.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: can’t do it, must forward.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: “michael jackson’s, man in the mirror”

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: oh god no

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: no no nononononnononnoooooooooooooooo

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: no

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: oh god this is fucking AWFUL

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: awful awful awful awful

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: chorus: “these are my heart songs, they never feel wrong”.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: i want my money back.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: FUCK YOU WEEZER

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: FUCK YOU

[16:03] LA Snark: this is the best review ever

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: OH GOD OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: OH MY GOD IT JUST GOT WAY WAY WAY WAY WORSE

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: HOLY FUCKING SHIT DOWNLOAD THIS SONG STAT.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: no. no don’t pay.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: steal it.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: steal this fucking song.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: HE IS TALKING ABOUT “NEVERMIND”

[16:03] LA Snark: oh man

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: “I WAS BORED BACK IN 92, UNTIL A FRIEND SHOWED ME A RECORD WITH A NAKED BABY ON THE FRONT”

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: AM I BEING PUNKED?

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: this is a joke.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: it just has to be.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: ok, next song.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: “everybody get dangerous”

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: starts with a bad sound effect of a window breaking.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh fuck no

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: he just used that bad sound effect like it’s thru a loudspeaker.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: the worst.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: ok just download the single, fuck the rest of this.

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: i might have to forward this one.

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: holy fucking fucking fuck

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: the backround lyrics

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: “BOOYA”

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: i am not joking

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: “let’s get dangerous”…”booya” “booya”

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: OH FUCK

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: well, he knows he’s lost it.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: that’s the theme of “pork and beans”, the single

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: like, “it’s over for me, i suck”.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: so, he should have just put that song out with a statement.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: which of course had to happen at some point, it always does.

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: OH GOD THE BOOYA IS KILLING ME

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: BOOYA?

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: FUCKING BOOYA?

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: FOR REAL BOOYA.

[16:08] LA Snark: that is pretty rough

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: pretty rough?

[16:08] LA Snark: he’s like an actual nerd

[16:08] LA Snark: not even an ironic nerd

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: hahahahahahaha

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: haha.

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: yes, he is “an actual nerd.”

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: ahahaha that is the most perfect thing ever said my friend…..booya.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: ok moving on to “dreamin’”

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: dreamin’.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: not dreaming.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: dreamin’.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: oof.

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: ok, next song

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: it’s a brian bell song

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: and it is better than the rest.

[16:15] MeredithFromBoston: and it’s not good.

[16:16] MeredithFromBoston: ok that song is the best one on there so far besides “pork and beans”.

[16:16] MeredithFromBoston: and i already told you i only like that one because of the timbaland reference

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: i still have a few more, plus a bonus track i would like to give back.

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: this new song, called “cold dark world” features rapping.

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: and the lyrics “sex you”

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: oi vey.

[16:18] MeredithFromBoston: these are the lyrics that you write and decide they are so bad you will never show them to anyone, ever.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: “to sex you”.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: i had high hopes, just 14 minutes ago!

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: sigh

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: ok that song is thankfully over.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: up next, “automatic”

[16:20] MeredithFromBoston: it sounds like maybe another brian bell song maybe

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: ok, this song is good.

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: let’s see who wrote it.

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: something tells me it’s not rivers.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: yup

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: i was right.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: it’s a wilson song. i guess they each have a song of their own on this record.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: shriner wrote “cold dark world”, not sure if i already reviewed that one, i could have…might have…blocked it out.

[16:23] MeredithFromBoston: alrighty, “the angel and the one” is up now.

[16:23] MeredithFromBoston: oh, that one was the “sex you” song. hahaha.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: well, this song is dark and moody.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: hmm. ok, ok.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: i’m sure he’s about to insert the suck soon.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: hmm.

[16:25] MeredithFromBoston: well, normally i would say this song if really fucking boring, but right now i am just glad it’s not like the “baby on the cover booya”

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i just read a review of the record, and the review closed with this:

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: ” Some of their experimentation certainly paid off, but some of it should have stayed in the studio.”

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i don’t know why, but he seems to be talking about angels a whole hell of a lot.

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: this song blows.

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i can’t wait for the bonus track up next.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: this is depressing.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: this song is over 6 minutes long.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: must get out of this song.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: ok, bonus time.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: seems like a demo…

[16:28] MeredithFromBoston: actually it sounds like a green day acoustic rock song.

[16:28] MeredithFromBoston: i want my money back.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: this song is making me fucking angry.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: “it’s easy to be mean” i think was just the lyric.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: henry (Meredith’s dog) just farted.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: henry, i agree my pup. i agree.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: in closing, this record is like a fart.

[16:30] MeredithFromBoston: a pork and beans fart.

[16:30] MeredithFromBoston: booya.

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