Weezer’s Red Album (Deluxe version) as reviewed by Meredith via AIM

My friend Meredith from Boston was kinda enough to walk me through the new Weezer record over AIM.  If you’d like to follow along you can pick up a copy here.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: 1st song, pretty good. i dig it.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: 2nd song, don’t like intro, it’s annoying. just heard a bad lyric.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: something about underwear.

[15:57] MeredithFromBoston: this may be a rap song. oh good god

[15:58] MeredithFromBoston: ok, falsetto, not liking this song.

[15:58] MeredithFromBoston: i may have to forward this one.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: ok, super falsetto at the end, like the super falsetto

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: but i don’t agree with any song that has “underwear” in the lyrics.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: unless it’s by Ratt

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: or something like Ratt.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: ok, song 3 is the single.

[15:59] MeredithFromBoston: he name checks Timbaland who i love so i think it’s funny

[16:00] LA Snark: you love Timbaland?

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: yup. love that overproduced shit.

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: giant overproduced hook filled pop crap

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: love it

[16:00] LA Snark: i like the overproduced songs on Britney’s latest album. like Radar

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: love that fucking record

[16:00] LA Snark: yeah

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: break the ice

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: sweet.

[16:00] LA Snark: haha

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: ok i have moved onto the next song

[16:00] MeredithFromBoston: a mellow jam, seems

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: he just name checked “eddie rabbit”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: he said “hungry heart”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh fuck.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh wait, it’s a song about his “heart songs”

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: his favorite songs.

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: GAY

[16:01] MeredithFromBoston: oh for fuck’s sake this dude might need to hang it up

[16:02] LA Snark: hahahaha

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: he just said “he taught me how to shred”.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: can’t do it, must forward.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: “michael jackson’s, man in the mirror”

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: oh god no

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: no no nononononnononnoooooooooooooooo

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: no

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: oh god this is fucking AWFUL

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: awful awful awful awful

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: chorus: “these are my heart songs, they never feel wrong”.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: i want my money back.

[16:02] MeredithFromBoston: FUCK YOU WEEZER

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: FUCK YOU

[16:03] LA Snark: this is the best review ever

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: OH GOD OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: OH MY GOD IT JUST GOT WAY WAY WAY WAY WORSE

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: HOLY FUCKING SHIT DOWNLOAD THIS SONG STAT.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: no. no don’t pay.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: steal it.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: steal this fucking song.

[16:03] MeredithFromBoston: HE IS TALKING ABOUT “NEVERMIND”

[16:03] LA Snark: oh man

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: “I WAS BORED BACK IN 92, UNTIL A FRIEND SHOWED ME A RECORD WITH A NAKED BABY ON THE FRONT”

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: AM I BEING PUNKED?

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: this is a joke.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: it just has to be.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: ok, next song.

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: “everybody get dangerous”

[16:04] MeredithFromBoston: starts with a bad sound effect of a window breaking.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh no.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh no

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: oh fuck no

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: he just used that bad sound effect like it’s thru a loudspeaker.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: the worst.

[16:05] MeredithFromBoston: ok just download the single, fuck the rest of this.

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: i might have to forward this one.

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: holy fucking fucking fuck

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: the backround lyrics

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: “BOOYA”

[16:06] MeredithFromBoston: i am not joking

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: “let’s get dangerous”…”booya” “booya”

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: OH FUCK

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: well, he knows he’s lost it.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: that’s the theme of “pork and beans”, the single

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: like, “it’s over for me, i suck”.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: so, he should have just put that song out with a statement.

[16:07] MeredithFromBoston: which of course had to happen at some point, it always does.

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: OH GOD THE BOOYA IS KILLING ME

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: BOOYA?

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: FUCKING BOOYA?

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: FOR REAL BOOYA.

[16:08] LA Snark: that is pretty rough

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: pretty rough?

[16:08] LA Snark: he’s like an actual nerd

[16:08] LA Snark: not even an ironic nerd

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: hahahahahahaha

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: haha.

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: yes, he is “an actual nerd.”

[16:08] MeredithFromBoston: ahahaha that is the most perfect thing ever said my friend…..booya.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: ok moving on to “dreamin’”

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: dreamin’.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: not dreaming.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: dreamin’.

[16:09] MeredithFromBoston: oof.

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: ok, next song

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: it’s a brian bell song

[16:14] MeredithFromBoston: and it is better than the rest.

[16:15] MeredithFromBoston: and it’s not good.

[16:16] MeredithFromBoston: ok that song is the best one on there so far besides “pork and beans”.

[16:16] MeredithFromBoston: and i already told you i only like that one because of the timbaland reference

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: i still have a few more, plus a bonus track i would like to give back.

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: this new song, called “cold dark world” features rapping.

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: and the lyrics “sex you”

[16:17] MeredithFromBoston: oi vey.

[16:18] MeredithFromBoston: these are the lyrics that you write and decide they are so bad you will never show them to anyone, ever.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: “to sex you”.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: i had high hopes, just 14 minutes ago!

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: sigh

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: ok that song is thankfully over.

[16:19] MeredithFromBoston: up next, “automatic”

[16:20] MeredithFromBoston: it sounds like maybe another brian bell song maybe

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: ok, this song is good.

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: let’s see who wrote it.

[16:21] MeredithFromBoston: something tells me it’s not rivers.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: yup

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: i was right.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: it’s a wilson song. i guess they each have a song of their own on this record.

[16:22] MeredithFromBoston: shriner wrote “cold dark world”, not sure if i already reviewed that one, i could have…might have…blocked it out.

[16:23] MeredithFromBoston: alrighty, “the angel and the one” is up now.

[16:23] MeredithFromBoston: oh, that one was the “sex you” song. hahaha.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: well, this song is dark and moody.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: hmm. ok, ok.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: i’m sure he’s about to insert the suck soon.

[16:24] MeredithFromBoston: hmm.

[16:25] MeredithFromBoston: well, normally i would say this song if really fucking boring, but right now i am just glad it’s not like the “baby on the cover booya”

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i just read a review of the record, and the review closed with this:

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: ” Some of their experimentation certainly paid off, but some of it should have stayed in the studio.”

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i don’t know why, but he seems to be talking about angels a whole hell of a lot.

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: this song blows.

[16:26] MeredithFromBoston: i can’t wait for the bonus track up next.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: this is depressing.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: this song is over 6 minutes long.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: must get out of this song.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: ok, bonus time.

[16:27] MeredithFromBoston: seems like a demo…

[16:28] MeredithFromBoston: actually it sounds like a green day acoustic rock song.

[16:28] MeredithFromBoston: i want my money back.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: this song is making me fucking angry.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: “it’s easy to be mean” i think was just the lyric.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: henry (Meredith’s dog) just farted.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: henry, i agree my pup. i agree.

[16:29] MeredithFromBoston: in closing, this record is like a fart.

[16:30] MeredithFromBoston: a pork and beans fart.

[16:30] MeredithFromBoston: booya.

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Posted in: Everywhere.
Tagged: Music