"No, I'm gonna pass on the wine, thanks though! You put down gun now?"
Someone at LAist posted that Maynard James Keenan from Tool and A Perfect Circle is making his own wine. I left a comment explaining why I won’t be drinking it. It could be seen as irrational, but hey. Anyway it’s my first comment over at LAist and I’m not sure if they’ll let it post because it does use the word “blowjob.” Zach or Lindsay never responded to my inquiry about writing over there either. No love for the Snark?
Here’s my comment:
My friend had free tickets and backstage passes for Tool up in Manchester, New Hampshire. I went, why not.. I’m a guy, I need aggro rock time like any other dude. We get there, it’s ok.. Maynard doesn’t move around too much, just stays on this little pedestal behind the guitarist the wiggles around a little.
Then after the show they tell everyone that’s stayed to go sit in the back section if they have backstage passes. My friend and I follow a crowd, which at the time we did not realize was full of only women, and the guy stopped us and said “Guys I don’t think you have the same passes as the rest of this group.”
Turns out those were “blowjob passes” and the girls were told to line up against a wall backstage and Maynard would come out and pick which one he want to be serviced by.
After, or maybe before this Maynard walked into the other backstage area where I stood with the rest of the guys, and kinda gave me this weird look like “who’s the hell are you?” He was holding a glass of wine. After he left the room my friend and I went over to the band’s cooler and took two beers and went home.
The point of my story is I’ll drink his beer but I’m not touching that wine.
Show me some love LAist!
