I’m going to be honest with you here. I haven’t really touched videogames since Metroid (first version, OMG, Samus was a woman this whole time? Yeah that one) with the exception of the time my roomate and I played the hell out of a free demo copy of Cool Boarders and the time my friend Joe and I watched our dads go head to head over a dial up connection in Rise of the Triad. Man we should do that again.
Anyway, video games look a little better now. As I said I’m pretty far away from the game scene, and the idea that I might have to head to Best Buy and pick up a ton of extra equipment like fake guitars and drums isn’t pushing me back into gameville. And what’s this about a video game I can use to exercise, or cook? Whatnow? What year is this? Elroy Jetson’s hovercar just stalled above my apartment.
If there’s anything that would pull be back to the wonderous world of video games, it’d be the opportunity to deliver a serious ass kickin’. Put a controller in my hand that stays true to the first Nintendo controller so I don’t need to do a backflip or consult a code sheet to get my character to move across the screen, and let me bush a big red button to hit somebody in the face with a sword. Let’s get back to basics people.
Well Afro Samurai has done just that. The new Afro Samurai has you walking around different levels splitting fools with a giant samurai sword and uh, afro. Plus get this people from the 70’s, this shiz is is high definition! I know, it’s nuts. There was definitely that moment where I paused and thought to myself “if I buy an XBox is my life over? How much weight will I gain? I hear you can’t even get through on the unemployment call-in line in California. Will I ever feel the touch of a woman again?”
Lucky for me I was at the Geisha House in Hollywood where the booze flows like free booze so I postponed this line of thought. I turned my attention to everyone’s favorite Hollywood pastime, “Lookin’ for famous people.” Samuel L. Jackson made a quick appearance (he provides the voice for the Afro Samurai character on the show and video game) and the RZA performed in full Afro Samurai costume. Wu Tang Clan is, in fact, nothin’ to fuck with. I heard it with my own ears, so it be true. AnnaLynne McCord from the new 90210 and The Cheetah Girls were also there, and if you know who they are I recommend you clear out your hard drive asap because the feds are probably already on their way.
Now, do I make the plunge back into the video-gaming world? I’d love to hook up my old Atari 2600 but I can’t seem to find that. One time I got so far in Pitfall that I found gold. GOLD Jerry!
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