No shit.
Phelps was just outed by “News of the World” for smoking pot. In a statement Phelps said:
I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.
I was right there with you America(n’s that didn’t boycott the Olympics), cheering on this wonderboy as he performed miracles in the pool. It was great, really it was fantastic. But seriously, the guy is a swimmer. You thought the 12,000 calorie diet was cute, and you even teared up a little when he whined about being picked on in his first post-Olympics interview. But then it was all Tara Reid. He’s making out with every girl he can get his hands on, he’s… smoking pot.
Let me let those of you without a B.A. in Psychology in on a little secret. If you lanky dude with big ears that spent his entire life getting teased and made fun of, you will friggin’ EXPLODE onto the scene if you become famous. Are you getting this? Listen, one day you figure out you can swim fast. Coaches tell you to just focus on swimming. You wake up, you swim an insane number of miles, you come home, you eat EVERYTHING, you watch tv, play some video games, sleep. Girls ain’t calling, you don’t need to study for anything, there’s no Excel spreadsheet to update, just swim and eat.
Then you hit the Olympics. You do pretty well there. Boom you are on a few commercials, boom you’re winning everything, boom you look like a super hero, boom loose ladies around the US await your return to the US so they can meet you at every club in Las Vegas and make out with you like there’s no tomorrow (or herpes.)
There’s like 3.5 years til the next Olympics. What do you fill your day with now? Wake up late, eat Count Chocula, smoke pot, have sex with a stranger, go autograph something, play video games, eat at McDonalds, nap, sex with a stranger, smoke pot, nap, play with the DVR, do a shot of something blue, get in the limo, make out with 40 women, bring a couple home, pass out, sleep til morning.
Are we really that shocked front-page-of-LA-Times?
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