Hear me out now: We transplants from the East Coast have adapted to your environment very quietly and politely. We restrict the number of times we beep at you when you drive like a moron in the rain, we don’t make fun of your tweezed eyebrows until you leave the men’s room, and we pretend to have heard about that show you were an extra on.
Do us this one favor: Open a Dunkin’ Donuts in Los Angeles.
I know they were out here before, and for one reason or another it didn’t work out and they all closed, but let’s try it again. You want a sure thing? Put your Dunkin’ Donuts franchise within walking distance of Sonny McLean’s, the Boston bar in Santa Monica. Business will boom, trust me.
Just for the record, Sonny’s does serve Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and you can buy the beans/grinds at Ralphs (and they’re more expensive than a lot of the other brands, which is unbelievable to us former East Coasters.)
Now listen, you may have doubts in your mind, I know that you have plans to lounge on the beach or travel around the world after you made your cool million designing that web application widget new dimension of online commerce thing, but hear me out a little longer, this is the best part:
Running a Dunkin’ Donuts is easy.
Trust me, I spent 20 years going to Dunkin’ Donuts every day, I know what it takes. Get 5 15 year old girls, they can be of any level of intelligence, somehow I think having braces is almost a requirement, teach them the names of the donuts (or just make sure they can read when they turn and look at them), and then don’t worry about whether or not they’ll make a good barista. Tell them to add a mound of sugar and a half cup of cream to every “regular” coffee and they’ll be good to go.
For God’s sake people, China is getting 100 Dunkin’ Donuts’, CAN WE PLEASE GET JUST ONE?
I’ll do some legwork for you to get you started. Start here.
From the site:
Dunkin’ Donuts Is Now Expanding!
There are more than 7,000 Dunkin’ Donuts worldwide in 30 countries. In the United States, there are more than 5,200 Dunkin’ Donuts restaurants located in 36 states.Our expansion into new areas around the country will open up exciting new franchise investment frontiers for operators and investors.
THAT COULD BE US!
I’m not like you, I didn’t re-invent the wheel and my last name isn’t iPhone, I just know what I, and many, many, other consumers like. We like poorly mixed coffee with deadly amounts of sugar. Why won’t you give us what we need?
Need more convincing? Check THIS out!
(added 2/23) In addition to Las Vegas, Dunkin’ plans to open dozens of stores in Phoenix, Houston, Dallas and Austin, Texas, as part of its Western manifest destiny. And, in migrating from its New England base, the java and frosted-confections seller wants to open stores in Pittsburgh, Indianapolis and Nashville, Tenn. -nwsource.com
Why not California!!!???
29 responses so far ↓
1 Hooves // Feb 7, 2008
I promise to buy a Dunkin card and put $1000 on it as soon as you break ground.
2 Sara // Feb 7, 2008
OMG! I totally agree. I buy the ground stuff at Ralphs (no apostrophe) and while it wakes me up in the morning, I miss those cups. And those lids. And those braces.
3 Rod // Feb 11, 2008
I have the ground stuff too, but I even have dreams about Dunkin’ Donuts. My next trip back east is in three weeks and I’m just going to binge on croissandwiches.
4 Tonya // Feb 13, 2008
PLEASE open Dunkin Donuts in CA!! I’d be there every single day!!! My next trip back to east coast is this weekend, and every time I go I hit up the Dunkins every day.
5 April // Feb 19, 2008
I miss iced coffee… There’s nothing that even comes close on the West Coast!
6 JSnark // Feb 22, 2008
They need to sell their cups out in LA, at least then you can brew your own and almost feel like you picked it up from a 15 yr old girl at the drive thru.
7 stewartallyn // Feb 23, 2008
I moved from the Northeast to Texas and also miss Dunkin’ Donuts. There is only one in Plano (north of Dallas) and I go there twice a week. If it was on my way to work, I would stop everyday. DD says they will open more stores in the next few years. I hate Krispy Kreme.
8 William // Mar 8, 2008
I am addressing this to those out there who have the money and ability to open Dunkin Donuts franchises in the Southern CA region.
First of all, the fact that there are currently no Dunkin Donuts in the Los Angeles area is a joke. Seriously. It is the second largest city in the country and there are no DD’s.
Secondly, if I had the money I’d be all over this opportunity. It’s really rather insulting to those of us that live here. The Los Angeles area is NOT comprised of a bunch of Health Food Nuts. That is a stereotype from the 80’s. It’s done. Over. We have fat and unhealthy people here too!!!
Thirdly, we seem to have McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, and In ‘n Out. They are ALL doing fine. And they all serve similar menu items. So your “fear” of Krispy Kreme and Starbucks is really very very foolish.
And before you even think it, Donuts and Coffee are NOT a niche market!
Honestly, the lack of DD’s in Southern CA proves that the people who can make this happen (those with the $$$) are frankly chicken. They are showing they don’t have the balls to compete with Starbucks or Krispy Kreme.
Donald Trump would never hire you.
9 JSnark // Mar 8, 2008
Well said William. I learned at Sonny McLean’s that in order to buy a Dunkin Donuts franchise that you need to agree to open 5 stores. I’m sure this is slowing people down, but people are starting to open them all over the midwest! From what I’ve seen, there are people with money in LA. Why the F haven’t Matt Damon or Ben Affleck opened 5 Dunkin’ Donuts’ out here? They seemed to be all about it in Good Will Hunting. Dunkin Donuts in California! Do it!
10 lover of DD // Mar 16, 2008
I just heard a rumor that there is a Dunkin Donuts scheduled to open in Santa MOnica. Can anyone confirm that this is true? I just called a friend in NY to bring some DD hazelnut ground coffee back to LA with her.
11 JSnark // Mar 16, 2008
You can actually buy Dunkin Donuts hazelnut coffee at Ralphs.. they also have cinnamon and pumpkin spice available. I haven’t heard that rumor but that’d be great!
12 Kristi // Mar 31, 2008
They have Dunkin Donuts in the freakin’ Philippines but not a single store in Southern California?!?!
13 stephanie // Apr 4, 2008
YES! Please bring Dunkin to CALI!! Especially SF…let’s show these SF coffee snobs what DUnkin is all about!! I’m from here, lived in NY for 3 years and now, can’t stand getting up in the morning because there’s NO DUNKIN donuts…Dunkin is ALL good times and I want the coconut coffee (light n sweet please) back!
PLEASE!!
14 Baustintejas // Apr 20, 2008
Just got back from Boston. I had the “vanilla creme” donut which they should call “birthday cake” because it is piped full of buttercream frosting (yikes). What makes the coffee so great is that it tastes like coffee smells. It is the Budweiser or Marlboro of the coffee world. I am thinking of opening my own donut chain called “Beantown” and I would basically steal all the recipes/products from DD, like “McDaniel’s” in “Coming to America”. Well I’ve said too much and used to many godamn quotations…OUT!
15 Kate // Apr 28, 2008
I agree completely! I also feel that their commercials should STOP AIRING IN CALIFORNIA. It’s driving me crazy. And they shouldn’t be allowed to say “America runs on Dunkin’” when they have no stores in the most populated state in the nation.
16 Meghan // Apr 30, 2008
NOT JUST LA… BRING IT TO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! I agree with Kate! Stop airing your “America runs on Dunkin” commercials in CA. It’s not fair until we actual have some!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17 Scott P // May 2, 2008
L.A. DUNKIN FAN
(sobbing)
I want a cruller. No one knows
what a cruller is!!!
(sigh)
I want a cruller.
18 Jesse // May 6, 2008
When dunkin donuts stores are coming to california?!!!!!!!!!
19 Setter // May 11, 2008
Listen up you f*ckin east coasters who transplant yourselve out here among us “natives”. I’m here to tell you all to shut the f*ck up with your whining and bitching about how “bad” it is out here. Know your place and be quiet and appreciative that we let you walk amongst us. If it’s so great where you came from, why are we not moving there in droves? I’ll tell you why, because you and your city suck ass and you know it. So F-you to the 100th power and understand you are all 2nd rate douchebags.
20 louis // May 11, 2008
I have to agree with the poster who took you east coast folks to task. There really is an obnoxious quality to your observations about life here in Los Angeles. You bask in the quality of life that our fine enviroment provides, yet jump at every chance to critique us Angelenos. Trust me when I tell you that we hold a level of contempt towards you and your intolerent tones. I will continue to hope for some sense of evolution on your part. Until then, Fuck all of you who continue to complain about us when the obvious remedy is to move back to that ancient, dirty, racist, cold, intolerent culture you seem to find so endearing.
P.S. A toast to you and your brethren sucking my ass.
21 admin // May 12, 2008
Just so we’re all clear here, “Setter” and “Louis” are the same poster. Apparently the natives aren’t too ip-address savvy.
Ok carry on
22 LT // May 21, 2008
We really need to bring DD out here. I am CA native but lived in Boston briefly, every morning I would grab a medium vanilla iced coffee (even in 20 degree weather) on the orange line before work. Although, I now commute 30 miles to work, I wouldn’t mind having an iced coffee with me on the way work. PLEASE PLEASE I beg the Dunkin Donuts gods, bring one to L.A.!
23 morgan // May 23, 2008
i will drive there every day!
french vanilla extra cream extra sugar.
*sigh* just got back from NY this morning, had a large on my way to the airport and one while getting on the plane. its raining and I would kill for another.
24 Dunkin Fan // May 30, 2008
I NEED Dunkin Donuts. They said they are not coming out to California until 2010. Why? They would make so much money here if they opened up just 1 location. I think the Hollywood/Highland Center would be a great location.
25 Boston girl sad in LA // May 30, 2008
I actually lie to the folks and tell them to pick me up a half hour later, so I can enjoy a cup of coffee and a two donuts at Logan… Last time I lived in LA they had a DD in conjunction with a gas station….duh that’s why they didn’t work here. WE need a DD…fast…..
26 Randall // Jun 4, 2008
We used to have Dunkin Donuts in California. I can remember it growing up in San Diego. Slowly they all left us, I think this was far before they were contenders in the coffee game, just as it was before ‘Bucks was slinging beans.
If you really crave the DD, just hop on o a jetBlue flight. I had a cup just last weekend on my way to Sacramento, and the weekend before on my way to Boston… though that just led to more DD.
27 Ann // Jul 4, 2008
Please open Dunkin Donuts in Los Angeles, I hope you listen to us, Thanks
28 Lynda // Jul 16, 2008
PLEASE open Dunkin Donuts in LA. It’s one thing not to have them here — I’ve finally accepted that I had to trade it for the permanent sunshine here in SoCal — but must you run TV ads taunting us with DD’s deliciousness? Do the right thing…open a Dunkin Donuts in LA!!
29 FUManny // Aug 7, 2008
I will go every day. EVERY day. Once again…………EVERY day. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE open up a DD in LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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